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They decide they want to commit adultery and set out to find a suitable partner.Wendy, a 34-year-old full-time mother of two from East Sussex, was a 'typical girl about town, with a few long-term boyfriends peppered with a handful of one-night stands on holiday or after a night clubbing'.

But once every fortnight or so she tells Peter, 48, a company director, that she's meeting a (well-briefed) girlfriend for dinner.

Instead she goes to a motel room to see her lover, Michael, also 46, a medical sales rep whom she met at a conference.

One of the challenges Sheila hadn't expected was where to hide her sexy lingerie.

'I went out and spent a fortune at Myla on gorgeous transparent bras and G-strings – things I'd stopped wearing for my husband, Peter, even before we were married.

It's about passion and spontaneity – having sex in the shower and up against a wall, all the things you see in movies that just never happen when you're arguing over whose turn it is to wipe the kids' bottoms.' The advent of email and mobiles have made affairs easier to run than ever before in practical, if not emotional, terms.

Yet suspicious husbands are also dab hands at checking their wives' inboxes.

They had a much freer sexual history when they were single and they have far more expectations of good sex.

Of course, once they're married it doesn't carry on being like in the magazines but their copy of Cosmo is still popping through the door every month shouting six new ways to heighten orgasm tonight and they think, "It's not going to be with him indoors, he's exhausted, but what a lovely idea …"' Once the seed is planted, outlets are everywhere.

'We have sex, we chat, we go back to our families,' Sheila tells me over a cappuccino.

'I'm not looking for a soul mate, I'm looking for physical release. The girls were small and sex with him had long been just another chore, like loading the dishwasher.

Thousands of women like Sheila are enjoying what they believe to be no-strings flings. Some of my friends ride, some sing in choirs, I have Michael.' The number of people having affairs is impossible to know, as few are truthful about their sex lives, but the recent Way We Are Now nationwide survey conducted by Relate showed that 34 per cent of women respondents admitted to being unfaithful, compared with 32 per cent of men.

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