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Q: I made the mistake of clicking on a little email window that popped up on my husband's computer.

I discovered that he's been surfing porn sites and going to chat rooms to have sex with other women online.

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Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and women, if this correspondence is free from immorality and love?

He replied: It is not permissible for any man to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved in that.

Unless he informed you or gave you the chance to participate in these activities, it was not an honest act on his part.

He also brushed off a chance to set the record straight without lying.

Pepper Schwartz Question from Carl: I recently started dating after a divorce. He is 22, and he has heard of "dating." Question from Guest: Men with gray hair are thought to look distinguished. And they are good introductions to social networking, and a good way to ease into trying an actual dating site. » Question from Leanne from Austin: What are the rules about dating and sex today? One of those things that you can pick on is whether you and this person have similar values.

What advice would you give me as far as first date suggestions? And if waiting is important to you, I assure you there are people out there who feel the same.

Should my courtship techniques be the same as when I was in my 20s? Question from Randi: What do you think about long-distance relationships? They take a lot of attention, by e-mail, by phone, sacrificing money because the cost can become difficult.

Taking a walk, for example, can put a lot of pressure on two people who have just met. Question from Jeannie from Cleveland: My 22-year-old son lives in the house and I want to date. You might meet your early dates outside the house, or not bring them to the house unless the relationship is becoming more important. I don't think it's fair, but it's probably true that gray hair is a signal to men that a woman is older and he may or may not like her ability to embrace her own aging in that way. There are also sites that are primarily about friendship or finding someone to do things with. However, if you are conservative about sexuality, try and date someone who is also conservative about sexuality, and wants a deeper commitment first.

What has happened to you is the best testimonial to the truth of what we are saying, because it is difficult for a man to ask these personal questions of a believing woman, unless he uses these means that are being used in a bad way. This is safer for your religious commitment and purer for your heart.

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