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" he will say, and will probably give you an impressive list of them which will certainly include the following: 1. You and your friends can make a game out of learning Anguish, and you'll have fun developing your own style and observing each other's efforts. Since you haven't met your hostess, you have spent some time, before going, thinking up something to say that will really interest her.Finally you decide to ask, during the dinner: "Mrs." Whether or not such a calamity is likely to occur seems entirely beside the point; in times like these one should be prepared for any emergency.

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In Anguish, this, of course, is Sinker Sucker Socks Pants, Apocryphal Awry.

This will give you an unexpected chance to use the last two words.

An accurate pronunciation and good intonation are most effective. Don't worry if you seem to have suddenly acquired a slight accent; your friends will tell you that this is most attractive.

The first item in this collection is a story familiar to all readers— Little Red Riding Hood.

Words which are rare in English are often common enough in Anguish, so you have new opportunities to see them.

Suppose you're spending a week-end reciting nursery rhymes in Anguish to a happy group of children or immature adults, and come across Sing a Song of Sixpence, A Pocket Full of Rye. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOG CARD NUMBER 56-8160 English words are astonishingly versatile and could readily be made to serve a new and extraordinary purpose, but nobody seems to care about this except SPAL (Society for the Promotion of the Anguish Languish).* after Arthur Godfrey's inimitable reading of it, on his television show. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or any portions thereof, in any form except for the in- clusion of brief quotations in a review. There are no officers, no meetings, no convention, and, worst of all, from the point of view of the author and founder, no dues. ________,* who, while learning to understand spoken English, was continually bewildered and embarrassed by the similarity of such expressions as boys and girls and poisoned gulls, used to exclaim: "Gracious! If it wasn't [sic] for the different situations in which we hear 'em, we'd have a terrible time saying which was which." Of course, these may not have been the professor's exact words, because he often did his exclaiming in Anguish rather than in English. You can easily prove this, right in the privacy of your own kitchen, by asking a friend to help you wash up a dozen cops and sorcerers. The society is very poorly organized, in fact few of the members even know they belong. Effervescent further delerent saturations an witch way harem, wade heifer haliver tam sang witch worse witch." Dr. Although other factors than the pronunciation of words affect our ability to understand them, the situation in which the words are uttered is of prime importance.And with it are more FURRY TELLS, NOISER RAMS, FEY MOUSE TELLS, and THONGS, especially transcended by Prof. When they were asked to help us wash cups and saucers, some women consented, some made stupid excuses, and some told us bluntly to go wash them ourselves, but practically no one thought that we were talking about policemen and magicians." "The experiments described above, and hundreds of similar ones conducted by SPAL show that an unbelievable number of English words, regardless of their usual meanings, can be substituted quite satisfactorily for others.

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