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Last night he left his phone in the kitchen and since I had not done this yet I wanted to do an internet search on his phone hoping he would forget about it and then after he went to bed I could see if I found out anything else.I looked at it only for long enough to see that he had not deleted anything the casually threw a dish towel over it so maybe he wouldn't see it.

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I printed a lot of stuff from the internet for him to read hoping if he understood how damaging it was to him as well as me he would want to get help.

He agreed that a lot of what I said was probably true but as far as I know has still not read them although he agreed to get counseling if I made the appointment but wanted to make sure I got counseling too.

He never learned to use a computer but we both got smart phones and he told me that a friend showed him how to find these internet sites. And seemed to justify what he was doing even when I told him that I was deeply hurt by this and that it seemed totally out of character that he would contribute to an industry that exploited women.

He adored his mother, was raised by 3 older sisters, has a daughter, and two beautiful grand daughters who he adores as well.

( I can remember going years without either of us saying a cross word to one another. Now he always blames me, says I'm going crazy, and my self esteem has dwindle to almost nothing.

We have terrible fights that last for days and we have said horrible things to each other that I'm not sure either of us will ever be able to forget. Then we had a really bad fight that lasted for days and totally ruined my birthday because I couldn't stop crying and therefore I couldn't be around my children or they would be probing as to why I was so upset and I was not ready to burn that bridge.

There were 687 deleted pictures and these were not just a naked woman these were women fondling themselves, and pictures of just twats, tits, and assholes. No wonder I felt like he wasn't making love to me anymore.

No wonder it felt like he was doing with a whore, no kissing or fore play.

Still my opinion of him has decline, my anger towards him has grown steadily to the point that everything he does annoys me and sometimes I feel like I truly hate him.

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