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Reilly says her clinical experience has shown that affairs are almost always caused by problems in the marriage.
But experts say that a large majority of the time, motivations differ by gender, with men searching for more sex or attention and women looking to fill an emotional void.
"Women tell me, 'I was lonely, not connected, I didn't feel close to my partner, and I was taken for granted,'" marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly says.
"They say they wanted to have someone who would look into their eyes and make them feel sexy again." Every affair is different, and so are every woman's reasons for her involvement.
Nevertheless, Rutgers University biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of Why Him? and Why We Love, says men are more likely to cite sexual motivations for infidelity and are less likely to fall in love with an extramarital partner.
Women, she says, tend to have an emotional connection with their lover and are more likely to have an affair because of loneliness.
"Women tend to be more unhappy with the relationship they are in," Fisher says, "while men can be a lot happier in their primary relationship and also cheat.But in general, women's motivations aren't just about sex.“I don't think women are doing it because they want to have more sex.She says she was living with a lot of disillusionment in a disappointing, sexless marriage."You feel the loss of your dreams and hopes and how you thought things would turn out," Diane says.She also sees some women have affairs during periods of vulnerability or life change, like when a child goes off to college or after a job loss.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating