pre dating minneapolis - Attraction and christian dating

I still don't have peace about marrying him, and I think it's due to a lack of attraction to him physically and emotionally.

His good qualities are dwarfed by the things I find annoying or even embarrassing, and I'm way more attracted to other guys physically.

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Your fiancé is a man made in God's image, a brother in Christ, and a fellow believer.

He is deserving of the same love and respect that you desire.

In addition to coming clean with him, I think it's important that you recognize your own complicity in this matter. You say he is annoying and embarrassing to you, yet you have agreed to marry him. You are bearing false witness: saying one thing with your actions, and another with your thoughts and emotions.

You have said you will occupy the most intimate and exclusive role in his life — his wife — even as you hold your nose at the thought of it. Won't you consider not just your need to break things off with him, making them right by admitting you are not qualified to be his wife, but also your need to confess your sin to God?

But from my experience, it's incredibly difficult to have a relationship without it, and I know it makes a difference in the way I treat him, whether I want it to or not. It's also understandable that in view of their urging, you would try to talk yourself into marrying him, especially if he is as godly a man as you say he is.

I suspect some of our readers might also say go ahead and, in the words of Lori Gottlieb, "Marry him." What all of this is based upon, though, is what other people think, and that is a snare (Proverbs ).

Are the things that embarrass and annoy you about your fiancé the sort of character flaws that are life-long? It's important that you think deeply about what it is that's bothering you and why. That would be cause for repentance on your part, not rejection of his proposal of marriage.

Because of sin, marriage will never be easy, no matter whom you marry.

He has a continuously growing relationship with God, uses his gifts to serve actively in the church, is under the authority of his pastors and mentor, loves me like crazy, is looking forward to being a father and provider, etc.

All these things are wonderful, but because they come from him, they don't touch my heart in a meaningful way.

Certainly you shouldn't let your feelings of attraction (or lack thereof) lead, but you shouldn't ignore them either.

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