Dating someone you dont know very well

When you talk to someone really, really often, perhaps by texting back and forth with them all day, the conversation can approach you filling them in on what's happening to you, or what you're thinking about, in real time.

All this comes into play when it's their turn to speak (you're not expected to carry the whole conversation after all).

In another article I give some advice on how to generally think of things to say.

For most people, if they struggle to make chit-chat, it's when they're first talking to a person they've recently met.

They'll have a lot of drilled-down topics they can go into.

If they start discussing something on their own you can listen attentively.

Actually, the more you speak to someone the more specific and detailed you can get.

When you haven't spoken to someone in a while, even if they're a good friend, your conversation tends to be very general at first, as you try to summarize huge amounts of information: "So what have you been up to? I got promoted to Regional Manager and Natasha is pregnant with our second child." When you talk to someone often they're already familiar with the nitty gritty details of your life, so you can update them on small future developments as they come up.

For example, a man who lives with his girlfriend may get home from work and spend ten minutes getting her caught up on the status of an important project he's working on.

There are always going to be new things happening to you in one way or another, so you'll always have fresh material to talk about. A woman could tell her friend about what she thought of the latest episode of a show they both follow, or share her views on a story she heard on a the radio, or give a report on a conflict that's happening between her relatives.

However, when we fall in love, our minds don’t just see a person – we see the person that we perceive.

When we’re in love we don’t just perceive the person that is in front of us, but what that person means to us. But when we first fall in love we overlook these truths and usually choose to ignore them all together. First off, if you’re looking to spend your life with anyone, then you should firstly accept the fact that you’re dating someone who comes with just as much baggage, just as many issues and just as many nasty habits as everyone else.

This isn’t easy, as getting to know someone takes time.

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