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I knew her family and I wanted to be part of it – it's a good family. Fortunately, he had seized a second wife, so he wasn't left alone. They cultivate land, they make pots, they treat animal skins... If I tell one of my wives to do something, she does it." Why should she? She just had to get on with it though." How would he feel if one of his daughters was abducted? " he says, and everyone falls about laughing again.I told her cousin I was going to take her and he said it was fine." He says it as though he is describing buying a tin of beans. But he grieves for that wife because she was a good worker. But then suddenly the conversation slams into a 180-degree reverse, as it seems to everywhere on this subject. II Blackout I uncover the story of how the fight-back began in the middle of a blackout – both electrical, and political. Nobody listens to the explanations from the dictatorship on the radio – the power plant is failing because wicked contractors inexplicably ripped off the government, and the government is doing all it can to stop this sabotage etcetera.

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"I started screaming and tried to run out of the hut," she says. – but one of the men found me." She was taken back to his home, held down in front of his family, raped, and taken to be married the next morning.

Dazed, she signed the papers, and waited for a moment when she could flee. I just prayed to God, 'Please help me, please...' I went back. " She is crumpled now, her walk halting, her face creased.

I wish to God that had happened." Her laugh erupts again, like a muffled scream. But then she says suddenly: "My husband is a good man. All the old women I meet – abductees for a lifetime – insist on this upbeat ending, in almost identical language, after recounting their tales of rape.

"It is only hard for the first five years," one of them tells me, quite seriously.

He makes his living selling pots crafted from the earth by his seven captive-brides and his 25 children. Our ancestors did it, our grandfathers did it, our fathers did it.

He is returning from market when I meet him, leaving tracks in the muck. He looks to the other men and smirks a little, then looks back at me. My mother was kidnapped by my father." He admits that, yes, his mother sometimes cursed this fact, but that is just proof of her generally lazy and ungrateful nature.

This is called "circumcision" – but it is actually mutilation, and it nearly caused her to bleed to death. I knew I was not a cow, a chattel, and I did not want to be treated like one. She knew that, when she went home, she would not be allowed to see it again – her father beat her mother for even suggesting she go to school – so she sat up all night and memorised all 268 characters.

It is part of a system that sees a woman's sexuality as something to be scraped and raped away. Not long after, she ran away to a missionary school – they were amazed she knew the alphabet – and became the first girl in her village to be properly educated.

If she tried, she was beaten by her captor, who said good women never speak of such things.

So she tells her story slowly, haltingly, her sentences punctuated by sudden high-pitched laughs that seem to erupt involuntarily from her gut.

As I leave Nurmae, I ask her how she would feel if one of her daughters was abducted. These stories have been sealed away for millennia, behind masks of pain and repression, but sometimes there are moments when history suddenly accelerates – and this is one of them.

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