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“Who one woman gives up could be another woman’s love of her life.” Good luck!Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.Let me start with some statistics: Number of divorced guys I have probably dated since my divorce: 7 Number of divorced guys I am friends with: 45 Number of divorced guys I have met in my life: hundreds. This same thing applies to a woman in that situation, by the way. I had single moms, divorced women with no kids and even some who've never had kids or been married. I'm a successful guy, I'm financially stable, I'm over 6 feet tall, a fitness trainer, and can cook.
But if you were thinking that searching for companionship online is strictly for losers or perverts, forget it—that's as outmoded as dial-up.
"Online dating is not only mainstream, it's one of the best ways to widen your search, rather than just hoping that you'll meet someone in the coffee shop," says Dr. And these days, there's a site for everyone, from e Harmony and Match to niche sites like JDate.
I also think many divorced men have no idea how wonderfully attractive they are. There is something “wrong” with everyone on this planet. So, is a woman going to find some things “wrong” with you? That's what I would ask a divorced dating potential - what did you learn, how did you grow?
I think at first, just like a man might be, a woman might be skeptical.
Kirschner."Four out of five men you go out with will disappear," says Dr. Don't take it personally, and instead try to remember that if you're meeting a lot of people, the number of bad apples will go up—but so will the odds that you'll meet a few good apples, too. Kirschner recommends, at least to start with, dating several guys at the same time.
For a couple of reasons: First, you are not putting all your eggs—or hopes—into one basket.
Of course, when you do meet, take basic safety precautions.
"Tell a friend where you'll be and when you expect to be home, and meet for coffee in a public place," suggests Dr. He may have seemed great, but loses interest, or is dating someone else, or has problems you will never know about.
Whether it's been one year or six since the divorce decree, you may never know with absolute clarity that you're truly ready for another relationship.
Instead, "it's usually clear when you're not ready," says Susan Pease Gadoua, a therapist and author of .
It's kind of like hanging out with your platonic female divorced friend and hearing her perspective on your divorce and your love life issues.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating