Rules for dating my duaghter

Rule Five : In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six : I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

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Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven : As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.

If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Ten Simple Rules for Dating my Daughter Rule One : If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two : You do not touch my daughter in front of me.I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend ___________________________________________________ How often you attend ________________________________________________ When would be the best time to interview your: father? Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car--there is no need for you to come inside. A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: ______________________________________________________________ B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ______________________________________________________________ C: A woman's place is in the: ______________________________________________________________ D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________ E. ___________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: ______________________________________________________________ F. __________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________ SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________ HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______ Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No If No, explain: ______________________________________________________________ Number of years they have been married ______________________________ If less than your age, explain ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). I was handing this out to her dates when she was in high school.If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. I have a friend who had it blown up to "huge" on a wooden plaque and bolted it to the wall opposite the front door with a sign in sheet.(you might watch your back) When my daughter brought her first date home, I made sure I was cleaning my Glock in the living room and said to him:"Young man, please be kind to my daughter, because if you aren't, I don't mind going to prison again! Same guy who retired from special forces as an 05 and has a son who graduated a few years ago from West Point. LOL I feel sorry for this little girls "boyfriends! She'll be lucky if she has a steady BF by the time she's a high school senior! They're dad/daughter activities included each of them getting black belts in Karate and then competing.

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