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Lafayette Reynolds: There's some darkness in this family, Tara.

Jason: [seeing the vampire blood] When'd you start dealin' V? [Lafayette opens the door and realizes that it's Jason Stackhouse] Lafayette Reynolds: Why, hello, hotness! Lafayette Reynolds: I am so glad you are recognizing that truth. Lafayette Reynolds: [carrying Tara] Savin' her life! Lafayette Reynolds: Life ain't not having problems, Tara! Tara Thornton: [about Ruby Jean] Why didn't you tell me?

Lettie Mae Thornton: [rushing to the bathroom] What are you doing to her? Tara Thornton: What the hell is wrong with me, Lafayette?

Look I'm already a person of poor moral character. Eric Northman: So, what's it gonna be Lafayette?

Eric Northman: You are aware that there's a gaping whole in your leg.

Lafayette Reynolds: [Jason sticks a meat thermometer slowly lengthwise into a sausage] Damn! Sookie Stackhouse: [about yelling at at neighbor] I shouldn't have lost it like that. Lafayette Reynolds: Way to a man's heart is through his stomach. You put some love in your food and folk can taste it.

[takes the chain from the collar] Lafayette Reynolds: Where you taking me? Lafayette Reynolds: Excuse me, who ordered the hamburger with AIDS? First, I get hauled in by the cops; then, I gotta let a dude drain my johnson. Lafayette Reynolds: [producing a small bag of pills] Your wish is my command. Lafayette Reynolds: Sook relax, this is not drugs, this is just a Valium.

Eric Northman: I've seen your website, it's quite, umm... But your clients miss you, Lafayette, they're wondering if you're ever coming back. Lafayette Reynolds: [swings a bat as Tara throws stuff at him] Bring it on, hooker. Lafayette Reynolds: [cringing, while watching Jason demonstrate what he went through] Damn! Lafayette Reynolds: Don't blame the Ferrari just 'cause your ass can't drive. Tara Thornton: Oh yes the hell I do too, you ugly bitch! Lafayette Reynolds: [taking a good look at her] You look like a porn star with that tan and pink lipstick.

[to Lafayette] Eric Northman: You were there, you saw it. Lafayette Reynolds: I don't know what it is you want to know, but point me in the direction and I gives to you. Lafayette Reynolds: [not believing] Oh no, the hell you don't. Sam must've lost his damned mind 'cause you should not be allowed to work in no situation where you actually gotta interact with people.

Lafayette Reynolds: Wait a minute, you slept with Sam?

Lafayette Reynolds: Oh damn, white folk just all fucked up. Tara Thornton: [after his guest leaves] What the hell was that?

Lafayette Reynolds: [before they leave the hospital] Is you feelin' me?

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